After another huge blow out between my parents, my mom is supposedly calling a therapist to get them set up with some marriage counseling.  I asked her why she was waiting, originally, to make the appointment.  She said it was because she wanted him to have his assessment first.  In my mind, the assessment doesn’t matter.  If something is wrong, or isn’t, they will still be the same people arguing about the same things.

Unfortunately I’ve been told quite a bit about what has gone on between them, including some of the words they’ve thrown at each other.  And I wonder if it will ever get this bad for Mike and me.  Can we be reduced to this?  To two aging people, hurting inside and out, flinging insults at each other over who helps around the house more? 

My dad got me alone on Sunday because apparently my mother had told him that “all” the children had seen changes in him over the past few years.  He wanted to know if I thought he’d had a mini-stroke. I told him no (because I don’t).  Thankfully he didn’t ask what I did think was going on with him.  He did ask if thought he was different, and I said as gently as possible, “Yes.” I explained that he was quicker to fight, that he seemed angry a lot, and he became agitated around a lot of activity.  I also agreed with him that my mother has changed as well.

The fact that both of them have hearing issues doesn’t help either.  They are constantly misunderstanding each other and getting in fights over things that neither of them actually said.  As I’ve mentioned before, it would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic. 

I did tell both of them that the worst part of this was how much pain it has caused me, and angst, because I can do nothing but sit back and watch it unfold.  I had to put some tough love on my mother because I feared she’d continue to bitch nonstop about everything but do nothing to change it. I told her I couldn’t listen anymore unless she got some help, and so far, she has been respecting that. 

One major thing I’ve noticed - I had to force myself to write a political entry on my public blog today because I knew my dad would go off the deep end when he read it.  However, it’s my damn blog and I intend to post my thoughts when I feel like it.  I’m not planning to censor myself further, although I will try to not insult the Republicans too directly. I miss the old days when my dad and I could talk politics without him stamping his feet and leaving the room.